why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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