Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
