Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
