I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
