I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
