Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
