Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
