Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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