I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
