Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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