I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
as a side note pls kill me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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