this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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