We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
