Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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