Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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