come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
too bad you live with your parents still
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
