why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
where are you?
Hypothermia
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
