if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
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Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
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I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Two words: blizzard sex
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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