yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize