okay pat passed out under dana's car
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
