I just pynch a tree in the face
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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