why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
