I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
