she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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