i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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