so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I booty called her while she was in labor.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
