I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
