carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Shitshow foam night was such a success
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
