You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
only if we run a train.
done.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
do nipples grow back?
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