Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
