So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
