on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude i'm inner monologue high
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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