"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Only a mothe r could love this liver
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
