sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize