so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
