girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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