She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
