let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
