I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
