Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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