forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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