Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i love accidental penises.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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