I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
