I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
