yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
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My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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