We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
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I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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