i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
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Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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