I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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