Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
