Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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