did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
