We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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