I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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