he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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