yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Ladies don't puke and tell
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
