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and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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