My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
