Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
