this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
