yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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