like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
