bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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