Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize