her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
