Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
