White coat. Heels.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
