It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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