When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
